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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101140">Speak Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellibeans104/pseuds/Jellibeans104'>Jellibeans104</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spiraling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellibeans104/pseuds/Jellibeans104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rated Mature for the Depression episode and dark themes. Mentions of past self harm and neglection of your body . If any of this is triggering to you please do not read this One Shot.</p>
<p>“Congratulations Clay I’m so happy for you,” George choked out trying to suppress a waterfall from flowing from his eyes. </p>
<p>“Thank you George,” the blonde exclaimed, the smile evident in his voice, “I’m so happy she said yes, I love her...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>George starts to spiral after he found out the love of his life is getting married to another person.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Speak Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Angst angst angst</p>
<p>Ahhhhhh</p>
<p>Sorry I haven’t been active on my recent book I might not do it because I’m having trouble writing it</p>
<p>Anyways please make sure you read the disclaimer before the story. And I am in no way romanticizing depression and self harm or anything like that. This was simply written to express my emotions so I hope you all like it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and his heart stopped. His eyes widened and threatened to gloss over. A gaping pit arose in his stomach as he bit his inner cheek.</p>
<p>“Congratulations Clay I’m so happy for you,” George choked out trying to suppress a waterfall from flowing from his eyes. </p>
<p>“Thank you George,” the blonde exclaimed, the smile evident in his voice, “I’m so happy she said yes, I love her...”</p>
<p>“I- I have t-to go,” the brunettes voice cracked as he hung up the call not even waiting for a response. Hot tears freely emerged from his eyes. The man shook, desperately trying to grasp the fabric of his sleeves for support as he curled up. A loud cry made its way up his gravelly throat. His eyes were thoroughly glossed over and he brought his knees up onto his chair. The brunette shook violently as he shoved his head further into his knees. Another cry of agony fell from his mouth. He was too late. He loved the blonde and he has for years.</p>
<p>George stared numbly at the discord photo. Why him? He didn’t want to feel this way towards his best friend. All he wanted was to not hurt anymore. The worst part is he couldn’t even be mad. It was Clays life after all and he was the happiest George has seen him. Jessica, Clays fiancé, was super friendly and seemed to be the whole package. She was witty, sassy, funny, brown hair with brown eyes and British. If you put her and George together they might look like siblings. The pair got along very well when they met each other. </p>
<p>George hated it. He hated that he wasn’t Jessica. He hated that he couldn’t be with Clay, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her.  None of this was her fault, after all it was George’s fault and his stupid feelings. At least that’s what the brit was thinking</p>
<p>George face was wet and slick with hot tears, he grimaced when he gazed to the photo of him and Clay on his desk.<br/>•••••</p>
<p>After what felt like hours and many notifications later the brunette finally unwrapped himself. His cheeks were puffy and his eyes were red burning. </p>
<p>George gazed at his dark phone, thinking of whether or not he should pick it up. Curiously got the better of him as he slid it open, hissing as the bright blue light flooded his sensitive eyes. </p>
<p>2 missed calls from: Clay &lt;3<br/>5 unread text messages from: Clay &lt;3</p>
<p>1 missed call from: Snapitus Napitus <br/>2 unread text messages from: Snapitus Napitus</p>
<p>George sighed as he opened Nicks messages first.<br/>~~~<br/>Dude call me back </p>
<p>(3 hours ago)</p>
<p>I know you’re spiraling please dude</p>
<p>(1 hour ago)<br/>~~~</p>
<p>George let out a shaky breath as he hit the call button.</p>
<p>“Hello?” Nicks voice rang from the other end. George flinched at the softness of his tone. Nick was never soft or considerate unless it was serious.</p>
<p>“Hi,” George replied simply, his voice coarse and cracked. </p>
<p>“I texted you hours ago and you didn’t pick up. You were worrying me, I thought you would do something...” he trailed off voice cracking, knowing his friends “tendencies.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” George replied his voice small,  “Clay’s getting married,” he muttered trailing off in defeat. </p>
<p>“I know dude, I’m so sorry,” Nick replied sadly.</p>
<p>“I just feel numb,” George stated with a monotone voice, “I’m too late,” Nick sat in silence taking his friends words into consideration. </p>
<p>“Mayb-“</p>
<p>“I love him Nick,” George cried out, “I love him with every bone in my body so much it hurts. I think about him all the time, but he will never know how I feel,” George ranted before adding, “I don’t believe in much Nick, but I believe in him,” hot tears streamed down his face. </p>
<p>“I think you need to tell him,” Nick frowned, his heart shattered, hearing his friends pained words. </p>
<p>“Are you crazy?! There is no way in hell I’d do that,” George replied panicked.</p>
<p>“No I’m not, I know you George,” an audible sigh emerged from the other line, “you let things bottle up until you break. I won’t let you spiral again,” Nick grimaced at the memory. </p>
<p>“I won’t,” George lied clenching his teeth. </p>
<p>“George...”</p>
<p>“I promise,”</p>
<p>“We love you George. Please don’t forget that,” Nick said worriedly </p>
<p>“I love you guys too,” George replied meekly.</p>
<p>“Clay is worried sick about you, you know?” Nick asked</p>
<p>“He is?”</p>
<p>“Yes so please don’t shut him out,”</p>
<p>“I won’t,” George cringed as he replied sadly. He really didn’t want to shut Clay out but every inch of his body was telling him to shut down, “I’m going to go now thank you for everything,”</p>
<p>“Anytime,” </p>
<p>And like that the call ended.<br/>•••••<br/>(3 hours earlier)</p>
<p>“Congratulations Clay I’m so happy for you,” George voice cracked. Weird.</p>
<p>“Thank you George,” the blonde exclaimed, the smile evident on his face, “I’m so happy she said yes, I love her...”</p>
<p>“I- I have t-to go,” the brunettes voice cut off the blondes. Georges voice sounded like it cracked as he hung up the call not even waiting for a response.</p>
<p>Clay stood shocked the smile falling from his face. The crack in Georges voice was unfamiliar and broke the blondes heart. He sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. Why was George acting so weird? Clay thought for certain that George would be happy for him. George was his best friend after all. </p>
<p>Surly George wasn’t jealous. Clay had accepted a while ago that his friend didn’t reciprocate his feelings so he did his best to move on. He found Jessica. He loved Jessica and her soft brown hair he loved her British accent, he loved her glowing honey eyes. He loved her humor and how much she resembled George. </p>
<p>Clays eyes widened. No, he loved Jessica for herself. He was going to marry her there was no way he was going back now.</p>
<p>He was completely over George, and his heart most certainly did not flutter whenever the brunette laughed. That was in no way true. </p>
<p>Above all else he was worried for his best friend and the way George ended the call didn’t sit right with him.</p>
<p>Clay picked up his phone and dialed George’s number.</p>
<p>Ring</p>
<p>Ring</p>
<p>Ring </p>
<p>Ring </p>
<p>No response. Clay sighed and texted George<br/>~~~<br/>Hey man what’s up? </p>
<p>You okay?<br/>~~~<br/>An hour passed with no response.<br/>~~~<br/>You’re scaring me George </p>
<p>Please pick up the phone<br/>~~~<br/>A half an hour passed and again no response. Clay sighed in defeat and picked up his phone to call Nick.</p>
<p>“Hello?” Nick asked tiredly.</p>
<p>“Nick have you heard from George?” His tone remained serious and quite honestly frightening.</p>
<p>“Uh no. Is there something wrong?” Nick asked fearing the worst.</p>
<p>“I don’t know I told him I was getting married to Jess-“</p>
<p>“Wait you’re getting married to Jessica?” Nicks eyes widened as he cut the blonde off, “when were you going to tell me this?”</p>
<p>“Well I told George first but he seemed less than thrilled about it. It’s bugging me and he hasn’t responded,” Clay replied sadly.</p>
<p>“I mean maybe it’s something else that made him freak out, I don’t know,” </p>
<p>“I hope so,” Clay muttered.</p>
<p>“I-I need to go to the bathroom I’ll talk to you later,” Nick stated, hurriedly hanging up the phone. </p>
<p>What the fuck is it with people and just handing up on him. Clay pondered hoping he didn’t do something wrong. Clay rung his phone one more time in a last ditch effort.</p>
<p>Ring</p>
<p>Ring</p>
<p>Ring </p>
<p>Ring</p>
<p>No response, so he sent one final text.<br/>~~~</p>
<p>I hope you are doing okay man I don’t know what’s happening or if you are okay but I want to let you know that I’m always here for you. You are everything to me George and I love you. <br/>•••••<br/>(Present Time)</p>
<p>George hung up the call feeling raw and exposed. He had poured the things he’s been thinking for years out onto the surface, even if it was only with Nick. </p>
<p>Carefully, the brunette stared at the notifications from Clay. He froze at the last part of the paragraph <br/>~~~</p>
<p>You are everything to me George and I love you. </p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>His heart unwillingly fluttered and tears pricked the corners of his eyes. The numbness turned into sadness as he picked up his phone ready to text back. He started to type out a response but he couldn’t bring himself to send it.</p>
<p>George groaned in frustration as he threw his phone on his bed. And turned back sinking down in his chair further. </p>
<p>At some point he nodded off and sleep overcame him<br/>•••••</p>
<p>Days and weeks blurred together and George lost track of what day it was. He stopped eating, and taking care of himself in general. He was spiraling and there was nothing he could do.</p>
<p>Dozens of missed calls and unread text messages sat untouched on his phone. He hadn’t grasped his phone at all since he threw it on his bed. </p>
<p>Most days were spent in his dingy grey room. The curtains remained shut and the whole room was flooded with darkness at all times. George barely came out of his room and on the rare occasion he did he only went to the bathroom and maybe got some water. </p>
<p>George’s ribs had started to show through his stomach and his spine was pushed up against his skin. His limbs had become boney and lanky and his cheekbones were sunken in. George could barely look at himself in the mirror because each time he did the more he hated himself. <br/>•••••<br/>Many days and a couple of  weeks passed since the incident and everyone was worried about George. No one had herd or seen him in ages. </p>
<p>Clay decided to take it into his own hands he had spent the last couple of weeks feeling numb and empty. Jessica tried her best to help but the constant pulling away from her caused an unwanted rift in their relationship. </p>
<p>“I’m going to see George,” he muttered passing Jessica in the living room, grabbing his car keys. It was long overdue for him to visit George. </p>
<p>“Whatever,” she replied irritated. Clay only rolled his eyes and shut the door.<br/>•••••</p>
<p>The drive was anxious and silent, not even soft music in the background. Small waves of heat came from the back of his eyes as they started to gloss over. “What if I’m too late?” He thought letting a tear fall down his cheek. </p>
<p>As the apartment complex came into view a warm bubble of anxiousness pooled in the pit of his stomach. He pulled into a parking spot as he saw Georges car sitting unused and untouched. Clay peered on the inside and dust covered the dashboard. Something did not seem right.</p>
<p>He hastily walked up the stairs, George’s apartment coming into view.</p>
<p>Clay carefully and softly knocked on the door.<br/>•••••</p>
<p>George stared numbly at the ceiling. Weeks, months, and  days passed, for all he knew he could have been here for a year. His vision blurred as he was fading in and out of consciousness. He had no clue if it was day or nighttime. His body had gone cold and the only thing keeping him warm was the dirty comforter sprawled over his bed. </p>
<p>~~~<br/>Knock knock<br/>~~~</p>
<p>George stiffened. The silence in his room had broken for the first time since his spiral. George thought he had imagined it but it came again.</p>
<p>~~~<br/>Knock knock<br/>~~~</p>
<p>A muffled voice came from the door as well as it echoed through the still apartment. George slowly sat up and swung his legs over his bed. As he stood up his legs started to wobble underneath him. He grasped on the bed for support and remained there for a couple of seconds to stabilize himself. He slowly made his way out of his room and into the hallway ignoring the blazing pain aching throughout his entire body. </p>
<p>George eventually got to the door and he shakily reached for the door handle.  <br/>•••••<br/>Clay knocked again, worry pooling throughout his stomach. He got an urge to just open the door and search for the smaller but he didn’t. </p>
<p>“George please open up,” He called out</p>
<p>After minutes and no sign of the door opening Clay turned away. As soon as he turned the door cracked open. </p>
<p>Clay was horrified at the sight of his best friend. The brunette had gone pale and looked like he was halfway on deaths doorstep. </p>
<p>“George?” Clay asked inching carefully forward his eyes glossed over. The brunette stiffened as the blood fell from his face.</p>
<p>“C-Clay?” He rasped. The blonde was unsettled by the gravel and weight in his voice. George’s vision started to blur and a storming headache flooded his head. </p>
<p>The mans small frame started to shake violently as he started to sway back and forth. George was pulled away from darkness filling his vision when Clays hands were placed upon his shoulders. His body tensed as he gazed up at Clay. </p>
<p>Clays eyes were glazed with worry and hurt and they danced to try and read George’s expression. He was only met with a blank face.</p>
<p>“Georgie what happened?” Clay asked softly pushing a strand of hair away from his face. Without any warning tears flooded George’s vision. He suppressed a cry climbing up his throat as lip started to tremble. His whole body started to shake violently, “Its okay George,” Clay whispered letting the smaller let everything out. With the newfound permission he let out a muffled cry as he buried his face in Clays chest. George harshly grabbed Clays shirt as he squeezed the taller tightly. </p>
<p>Clay squeezed his eyes shut as the muffled screams of his friend filled his ears. It was heartbreaking, absolutely heart shattering. A warm tear rolled down his cheek as he rubbed soothing circles on the small of George’s back. </p>
<p>Clay held his best friend there never wanting to let go for he was too scared to let go. <br/>•••••<br/>At some point they moved into George’s apartment. Clay couldn’t bring himself to let go so they stayed there for a while until George finally pulled away. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry I-“ </p>
<p>“No don’t apologize George,” Clay interrupted grasping the frail hands in his own. The coolness of the smaller’s hand was alarming to say the least. </p>
<p>“I just feel bad-“</p>
<p>“George-“</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to bring you into this mess-“</p>
<p>“George-“</p>
<p>“I didn’t call you back, I’m so sorry-“ George continued panic rising within him as tears threatened to fall. </p>
<p>“George look at me,” the smaller stoped abruptly and turned to face the taller, “I’m not mad nor will I ever be mad. You did nothing wrong alright?”</p>
<p>George’s panic subsided and he nodded slowly. </p>
<p>The rest of the evening was filled with Clay slowing introducing food back to the smaller and he started to help pick up around the house, trying to restore its condition. George was to tired to be embarrassed but he was beyond grateful. Clay got into the bathroom and started to clean a little in there. Once finished he turned on the water and got things ready so George could wash himself off and change. </p>
<p>“Let me know if you need any help,” Clay called out letting the smaller into the steaming room. </p>
<p>“Aye eye captain,” George said weakly closing the door. Clay turned into Georges room. He turned on lights and opened the windows slightly, letting the soft breeze take away the hurt and pain caused within the room.</p>
<p>Clay had refrained from asking what happened even if it was killing him. George would tell him when he’s ready and Clay would wait until that day. </p>
<p>Eventually George came out of the bathroom and they continued the long process of trying to repair the damages that had been done. </p>
<p>Clay stayed at George’s house for a good week or two, helping the other get back on his feet. Jess was not to thrilled about that one. <br/>•••••<br/>(11 Months Later)</p>
<p>George awoke dreadfully as the sunlight pricked his eyes. Today was the day of Clays wedding. That thought alone was enough to ruin George’s day. He hated it but he had to push the hurt aside and be there for his best friend. After his spiral he managed, with a lot of help from Clay and Nick, to get back to his normal weight. Warmth had returned to his body and his skin had color within it. His cheeks filled out and his arms regained their strength. It wasn’t easy by any means but he managed. Even though he was in love with his best friend, knowing for certain he couldn’t have him, George tried to make the best of it. He still got upset but he promised for the sake of his and his friends mental well-being not to spiral. He feared if he did he might be so far gone no one could save him. Not even Clay. </p>
<p>So with a fake smile and confident posture, the brunette put on his suit and left for the church.<br/>•••••<br/>As George arrived he sat down in the pews next to Nick. </p>
<p>“Hey bud...” Nick began before being shortly cut off by George.</p>
<p>“Stop I don’t need pity,” he said a little to harshly, making the raven flinch, “I’m sorry Sapnap I’m just trying not to think about it too much,” he sighed gazing down at his fiddling fingers.</p>
<p>“No it’s okay George,” he replied setting a comforting hand on the brunettes back, “I know this is hard for you but you’ll get through it I promise,” he finished patting the others back gently. </p>
<p>“I guess,” he sighed sadly.</p>
<p>“You’re strong dude, I believe in you,”</p>
<p>“Thanks Nick,” George let off a little smile.</p>
<p>“There it is,” Nick said pointing at the smile before grinning himself. George only playfully rolled his eyes.<br/>•••••</p>
<p>The wedding ceremony started soon after that. Neither the groom nor the bride looked too thrilled, which really did surprise George. He didn’t over analyze it because he was to busy staring at Clay and how handsome he looked. It quite literally took his breath away. </p>
<p>Clays eyes shot to George’s as they made brief eye contact with each other. Even though Clay smile was strained it was there when he saw George. George smiled back weakly. The smile physically hurt him to do because all he wanted to do was not smile. </p>
<p>The bride came down the aisle as a song that sounded like a death march came on. She looked less than happy to be there as well. It took everything now George’s power to not just get up and leave. </p>
<p>The pair got up and the ceremony had officially begun. They exchanged quick vows without a single tear of happiness or really any emotion for that matter. Then they exchanged the wedding bands along with more vows.</p>
<p>“If anyone believes these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the preacher spoke. Something within George clicked and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. George stood up his hands shaking. Everyone’s eyes shot to him, completely shocked. Clays mouth was held agape as he made eye contact with George. </p>
<p>“I object,” he said loudly as he shuffled out of his seat, ripping his eyes away from the ripping gazes he got as he ran up the aisle, “I object,” he repeated when he  got to the alter. </p>
<p>“G-George?” Clay asked stunned.</p>
<p>“I said I object you idiot” George replied,<br/>“I’m not the type of guy who rudely barges in on a white vail occasion,” George paused before staring directly at Clay, “but you are not the type of guy who should be marrying the wrong person,”</p>
<p>“What?” Clay and Jessica asked in unison.</p>
<p>With a sudden boost of confidence George grabbed Clays tie and yanked it towards his face. He pressed his lips softly on top of Clay. Fireworks exploded between the two for the brief moment their lips touched. The feeling was unexplainable. It was almost if it were magic, surreal almost. The world around the pair faded into darkness. Clay was shocked and a warm pool formed in his stomach as he kissed back softly full of the want that has formed over years. Clays hand softly caressed George’s cheek trying to deepen the kiss. George only pulled away. Clay leaned forward more to try and catch the brunettes lips once again. He only failed. </p>
<p>“So don't say yes, run away now<br/>I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door,” he whispered disentangling his hands from the others suit, before turning and walking out quickly. </p>
<p>“What the hell was that?” Jessica asked, turning to Clay angrily.</p>
<p>“I’ve got to go,” he whispered his eyes trained on the exit, “it’s over Jessica,” he said cooly.  Clay started to trail behind George as he rapidly exited the building.</p>
<p>•••••<br/>George started to panic, he fucked everything up. All he had to do was stay silent but no he couldn’t even do that. </p>
<p>But the kiss felt amazing. He was on cloud nine the entire time. </p>
<p>No it was wrong he shouldn’t have done it.</p>
<p>But it felt so right.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Footsteps snapped George out of his internal fight </p>
<p>“You came?” George asked turning to his best friend, “I’m so sorry I really didn’t...” </p>
<p>“Shut up,” Clay interrupted pulling George to his lips as fast as possible. George instantaneously kissed back, electricity branching from wherever the blonde touched. The taller brought his hands up to cup the brunettes cheek as he tilted his head, kissing deeper. George pressed impossibly closer to the blonde and kissed back with passion. </p>
<p>The kiss was slow and careful but it got the message the pair had been trying to send for years. The pair took in panting breaths when they parted.</p>
<p>“Come on let’s go,” George said hurriedly grabbing Clays hand. The blonde smiled grasping the hand tightly. He trailed behind George as they got a good distance away from the Church. George stopped abruptly, and turned to the disheveled blonde.</p>
<p>“Okay I need to get this out,” George let out a breath calming his nerves, “I love you so much it hurts me. That was the reason I spiraled almost a year ago. You are my air, my water, my shelter. I can’t live without you Clay. I spend everyday thinking about you. I don’t believe in much but I do believe in you Clay,” George refrained from looking at the blonde and he continued his rant, “Clay, I need to know if you feel the same before I can go further.” </p>
<p>Clay didn’t speak he only tilted the brunettes head up so they could look each other in the eyes. He leaned down and captured the brunettes lips in a deep kiss. The type of kiss that makes your knees weak, the type of kiss that makes you forget every instinct you have. Butterflies poured from the smaller’s stomach and he kissed back softly. Clay hand gently pressed on the small of George’s back as he pressed them together. </p>
<p>“I don’t even know why you had to ask that question Georgie,” Clay whispered when they parted. </p>
<p>They stared lovingly at each other and for the first time since this mess, there was clarity.</p>
<p>They belonged with each other. </p>
<p>That’s the only thing the pair knew, everything else faded and it was left with them and only them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know if you liked it</p>
<p>Much love</p>
<p>Bye &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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